(X) On Unfounded FEARS and WORRIES…
Exhaustive psychological tests have been conducted over the years by various groups and Institutions on the subject of "FEARS and WORRIES" which seem to preoccupy the vast majority of people and are constantly on their minds.
One of the most dramatic such findings occurred in the 1960s when a clinical study of more than fifty thousand random participants showed a common thead amongst the processes of the human brain (Conscious).
When briefly stopped on public streets and corners, and asked, "WHAT were you just thinking?" or "What was mainly on your mind in the last ten minutes?", a VAST percentage of interviewees admitted that the nature of their self-talk and preoccupations revolved around negative thoughts, such as
(1): " I’m running late!...I’ll arrive late at work again!...the boss will be angry with me!...I may lose my job!...etc.."
...or (2): "I forgot to pay my phone (or electric, gas, etc.) bill!... They’re going to disconnect my service!..." and like panic/ disaster stressors...
...or (3): A great variety of concerns with health matters...possible unwanted pregnancy... personal relationships...business, money, income issues, etc., etc...
-----
I will stop for a spell, to tell you a funny joke I heard a while back about two old friends, Eastern European emigrees who work in the same neighborhood : Sam and Henry. Every business morning, they’d meet in the street, greet each other, chit-chat for a few minutes, and the like.
One day, Sam brings up to Henry that "We have been meeting here for years, and each day, you ask me how are my wife, my children, my parents doing...but NOT ONCE did you EVER ask "how is by me da Business!".
So Henry says, "Oh! I’m so sorry, Sam!...SO, How’s by you da business?’...to which Sam shrugs...grimaces and retorts: "Oy!..Don’t ASK!" :o)
-----
Having taken down the phone numbers of the interviewees, the Research teams were able to further check the outcomes of the shared worrisome matters, and THIS is where it was found in about 98% of ALL fifty thousand+ cases, that what they had initially reported as fearing or worrying about NEVER MATERIALIZED!
(1) In work-related Fears of being yelled at, warned, reprimanded, fired, etc., in MOST instances, the TRUE end results were far more pleasant and non-threatening than had been anticipated mentally.
For instance: the boss either said or did nothing ‘bad’, or actually was in a good mood...greeted the stressed employee with a smile...paid him/her a compliment...or arrived later than they had!...etc. :o)
(2) When the delinquent customer called the utilities company, the latter actually, and without any pressure, gave them a time extension...and were very nice with them.:o)
(3) Health, relationships and other feared problems turned out far, far better than had been anticipated, again, in over 98% of ALL instances! :o)
Please remember that over fifty thousand people were surveyed !...and MANY other similar studies were made since with comparable results!...
The cost to your Health, Peace of Mind, Blood pressure and overall mood become ill-affected each time you worry and get stressed over something!...You become DE- energized, depressed, anxious, confused and far less capable of calmly facing and properly handling the less than 2% of the feared troubles...
This is NOT an effort to encourage or condone forgetfulness, irresponsible actions and other escapistic behavior patterns!
Simply weigh ALL the odds...DO Take whatever Action may or will help you cope with, overcome and resolve the impending danger or threatening situation, so that you may Live Happier, Healthier and Longer while fulfilling your obligations and commitments.
To further help you do so, I shall, in the next post, insert a very practical chart for your reference and use with my warmest, supportive Best wishes!
...which reminds me of this cute story about "SHELLY and the DRAGON"
Shelly had been having recurring nightmares. She dreamt every night that a Huge Dragon would chase her, fire shooting out of its nostrils...its sharp teeth-filled mouth wide open, allowing a long, split tongue to protrude, snake-like. It made constant, roaring, menacing, high decibel sounds which scared Shelly half to death.
The dragon kept coming closer and closer. Its savage noises made Shelly's heart beat so wildly, she thought it would choke her...the heat of the flames was starting to cause the nape of her neck to feel as if it was on fire. And then, the nightmare would stop, leaving Shelly in a sweat, filled with fear and horror.
One night, when the nightmare returned in full force, she decided to end this nightly torture by taking a chance and test her bravery. This time, as the dragon was getting uncomfortably close, she stopped running, turned around, facing her torturer, staring him in the eyes...
Shelly yelled at him angrily : "YOU!...WHY are you chasing and scaring me to death every night? WHAT do you WANT from me?", to which the dragon, after calmly shrugging his shoulders, answered: " Heck if I know, lady!...After all: It’s YOUR dream!" :o)
-----
"The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity. The fears are paper tigers. You can do anything you decide to do. You can act to change and control your life; and the procedure, the process is its own reward."
(Robyn Davidson)
"If you wish to travel far and fast, travel light. Take off all your envies, jealousies, unforgiveness, selfishness and fear."
(Glenn Clark)
Have a Happy, Fearless, Worry-Free Day!
Your Friend,
Jacques
One of the most dramatic such findings occurred in the 1960s when a clinical study of more than fifty thousand random participants showed a common thead amongst the processes of the human brain (Conscious).
When briefly stopped on public streets and corners, and asked, "WHAT were you just thinking?" or "What was mainly on your mind in the last ten minutes?", a VAST percentage of interviewees admitted that the nature of their self-talk and preoccupations revolved around negative thoughts, such as
(1): " I’m running late!...I’ll arrive late at work again!...the boss will be angry with me!...I may lose my job!...etc.."
...or (2): "I forgot to pay my phone (or electric, gas, etc.) bill!... They’re going to disconnect my service!..." and like panic/ disaster stressors...
...or (3): A great variety of concerns with health matters...possible unwanted pregnancy... personal relationships...business, money, income issues, etc., etc...
-----
I will stop for a spell, to tell you a funny joke I heard a while back about two old friends, Eastern European emigrees who work in the same neighborhood : Sam and Henry. Every business morning, they’d meet in the street, greet each other, chit-chat for a few minutes, and the like.
One day, Sam brings up to Henry that "We have been meeting here for years, and each day, you ask me how are my wife, my children, my parents doing...but NOT ONCE did you EVER ask "how is by me da Business!".
So Henry says, "Oh! I’m so sorry, Sam!...SO, How’s by you da business?’...to which Sam shrugs...grimaces and retorts: "Oy!..Don’t ASK!" :o)
-----
Having taken down the phone numbers of the interviewees, the Research teams were able to further check the outcomes of the shared worrisome matters, and THIS is where it was found in about 98% of ALL fifty thousand+ cases, that what they had initially reported as fearing or worrying about NEVER MATERIALIZED!
(1) In work-related Fears of being yelled at, warned, reprimanded, fired, etc., in MOST instances, the TRUE end results were far more pleasant and non-threatening than had been anticipated mentally.
For instance: the boss either said or did nothing ‘bad’, or actually was in a good mood...greeted the stressed employee with a smile...paid him/her a compliment...or arrived later than they had!...etc. :o)
(2) When the delinquent customer called the utilities company, the latter actually, and without any pressure, gave them a time extension...and were very nice with them.:o)
(3) Health, relationships and other feared problems turned out far, far better than had been anticipated, again, in over 98% of ALL instances! :o)
Please remember that over fifty thousand people were surveyed !...and MANY other similar studies were made since with comparable results!...
The cost to your Health, Peace of Mind, Blood pressure and overall mood become ill-affected each time you worry and get stressed over something!...You become DE- energized, depressed, anxious, confused and far less capable of calmly facing and properly handling the less than 2% of the feared troubles...
This is NOT an effort to encourage or condone forgetfulness, irresponsible actions and other escapistic behavior patterns!
Simply weigh ALL the odds...DO Take whatever Action may or will help you cope with, overcome and resolve the impending danger or threatening situation, so that you may Live Happier, Healthier and Longer while fulfilling your obligations and commitments.
To further help you do so, I shall, in the next post, insert a very practical chart for your reference and use with my warmest, supportive Best wishes!
...which reminds me of this cute story about "SHELLY and the DRAGON"
Shelly had been having recurring nightmares. She dreamt every night that a Huge Dragon would chase her, fire shooting out of its nostrils...its sharp teeth-filled mouth wide open, allowing a long, split tongue to protrude, snake-like. It made constant, roaring, menacing, high decibel sounds which scared Shelly half to death.
The dragon kept coming closer and closer. Its savage noises made Shelly's heart beat so wildly, she thought it would choke her...the heat of the flames was starting to cause the nape of her neck to feel as if it was on fire. And then, the nightmare would stop, leaving Shelly in a sweat, filled with fear and horror.
One night, when the nightmare returned in full force, she decided to end this nightly torture by taking a chance and test her bravery. This time, as the dragon was getting uncomfortably close, she stopped running, turned around, facing her torturer, staring him in the eyes...
Shelly yelled at him angrily : "YOU!...WHY are you chasing and scaring me to death every night? WHAT do you WANT from me?", to which the dragon, after calmly shrugging his shoulders, answered: " Heck if I know, lady!...After all: It’s YOUR dream!" :o)
-----
"The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity. The fears are paper tigers. You can do anything you decide to do. You can act to change and control your life; and the procedure, the process is its own reward."
(Robyn Davidson)
"If you wish to travel far and fast, travel light. Take off all your envies, jealousies, unforgiveness, selfishness and fear."
(Glenn Clark)
Have a Happy, Fearless, Worry-Free Day!
Your Friend,
Jacques
posted by Jacques Girard, Ph.D. at 8:01 AM
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