When Death Knocks

Dear Friends,

As the "death" of 2008 approaches, and the birth of 2009 is imminent---I could not think of a better way to welcome the reborn dawn than sharing with you the following Dec. 30, 2008 5:00 A.M. post by the renowned Deepak Chopra.

May its wisdom be a guide to your embracing the New Year with renewed hope, lofty aspirations, dynamic actions, optimistic outlooks and successful outcomes!

With Love from,

Jacques
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Death isn’t about what I possess but about what I can become. Today I see myself as a child of time, but I may become a child of eternity. I see my place here on Earth, but I may be on a journey to the universe. Human beings have a deep intuition that our destiny is infinite, but we fear death because it tests our wishes and dreams.

We fear to be tested because if we turn out to be wrong, then all our aspirations feel empty. Dying isn’t more real than any other moment, but it is more definitive. No matter how rich and gifted you are, death is the great equalizer.

For the after life to have meaning, it has to be fully as satisfying as this life. Bringing money, power, sex, family, achievement, and physical pleasure to an end is not a trivial thing. Much that we love and depend on will be extinguished when this life comes to an end. And yet we can bring something to that moment.

Grace, calm, a patient acceptance of what’s to come: These are all qualities that can be cultivated, and when they are, death is a test we will not fail. Our fault is not that we fear death but that we don’t respect it as a miracle.

The most profound subjects–love, truth, compassion, birth and death–are equal. They belong to our destiny but also to our present life. Ultimately the goal here is to bring death into the present and thereby make it equal to love.


Adapted from Life After Death: The Burden of Proof, by Deepak Chopra (Harmony Books, 2006).

Courtesy: Care2: http://www.care2.com/greenliving/when-death-knocks.html

How I quit smoking three packs a day and dropped pounds!

As I do whenever I share with you articles and other news items of interest and hopefully also value: this contribution from the reputable WebMD Experts reminds me that ALL Expert advice and reports must be taken with a grain of salt.

The reason is simple: too many of their "written in granite" thoughts, purported findings and other inspired revelations end up being retracted, apologized for and, generally, forced to be reconsidered as erroneous. And make the headlines in the printed and electronic media before they are shoved under the old proverbial rug.

The problem is that countless human lives were ill-affected - too many terminally -by the red-faced "Oooops!--we goofed!!!" Titled Experts---leaving oodles of their trusting followers in the dust of their "slight miscalculations and mistakes"...

Apparently, this particular part of the article strongly "hit home" with me. And reawakened my dozing objective convinction that ALL "Expert Formulae" are a notch above grandma tales, superstitions and gossip-mongering---

What is my point? Simply this: after having been a three-pack-per-day cigarette smoker for several years (at a time when this was "fashionable")---on a hot day while I was motivating a roomfull of some thirty college students hired by a large marketing firm---one bright fellow spoke up.

He remarked, "Dr. Girard---O.K., you did a great job demonstrating that our subconscious brain is Way stronger, wiser, than most left brain conclusions---and Can perform virtual Miracles as compared to generally accepted logical and reasonable Scientific "facts".

It is about 101 degrees outside and, to prove that WE CAN control our environment and personal Universe by "resetting our mental thermostat" to a comfortable temperature by which WE decide to be affected---

A while ago, to "drive your point home", you turned Off the air conditioning---and it must be about 130 degrees in here by now---a virtual pizza oven!---(Incidentally, the boys had removed their shirts and T-shirts---were bare chested and the girls wished they could too---and I was wearing a wool business suit, shirt and tie---All my students were "sweating like pigs" and my forehead was merely a bit oily)---

"O.K." continued my heckler, "you got us convinced that you are in full control of the temperature inside and out of your body!---BUT, IF you are so good, How come you are behaving like a nervous wreck: there is a cigarette butt smoldering in your ashtray---and you just lit another one, choking us all to death?"

WOW! Talk about being hit smack in the face with this Brilliant and well deserved observation!---A perfect illustration of "DO as I SAY--but NOT as I DO!"---He caught me with my hand in the cookie jar! LOL

This is where I had a major decision to make. Weeks ago, I actually had decided that it was time for me to quit my filthy habit (that gave me so much pleasure, however).
Yes! HABIT!---for I realized that I was addicted to nicotine!!!

The revelation came one rainy day when I asked my secretary to go buy me a couple of cartons of Parliaments (in a box) across the street, at the local Italian delicatessen/ grocery store.

As it turned out, they were sold out, so she headed for the next supplier: a store five blocks away. By the time she came out with my bounty, it had started to rain. So she ran back to the office, arriving drenched. And all I could think of was "did my cigarettes get wet?" ---then feeling relieved to see them safely wrapped in a plastic bag. Never for a moment did I even notice or care about her discomfort: a classical selfish attitude common amongst addicts. No guilt. No shame. Nothing is as important as getting their next fix!

THIS is when I had decided "Enough!"---not to speak of the foul breath, the stench on my expensive clothes, the curtains, the couch at home---and the smell of unwiped butt on my right index and "up yours" fingers!!---

So, when my smart alecky apprentice publicly challenged me as he did, I was faced with choosing between "quitting tomorrow or some other time" and 'NOW"!---between my self-indulgence and risking the loss of faith, trust, respect and confidence which I had earned up 'till now from thirty young lives---risking to turn them all into skeptics who would never trust again, once I would allow myself to have clay feet!

I opted for sublimating the "moi" for "the many"---and take the responsibility we all owe to our fellow-humans. I decided to transcend momentary and ephemeral selfish pleasures for lasting altruistic multiple meaningful benefits.

So, seriously scared (as, professionally speaking, I had never had to do anything as Big, Drastic and Permanent as conquering this Monster up until now)---I made the following brazen COMMITMENT, as I extinguished the smoldering butt in the ashtray---put out the cigarette I had lit a little while ago---and lit a new one:

"My friends...you are seeing me light the last cigarette I'll ever smoke in my life---and I propose to have a long life!---
---Furthermore, to prove that gaining weight after you quit smoking, especially "cold turkey" as I am doing here today is just another grandma tale---
---and I firmly believe that I will Not gain any weight at all ---I have No intention of going on any kind of conscious diet incidentally, and I don't expect that my hand will be any less steady than it is now (and I stretched out my right arm, hand flat, all fingers extended straight out)---so, when we break for lunch, we'll go find a scale---have you all witness me weighing myself and, next week when we meet again, return to the same scale and see what I weigh then---fair enugh?". They cheerfully agreed.

And here comes the kicker---having never done anything like this before, I was both a bit nervous and had NO idea how to go about achieving what I promised them I would!

So, as I was slowly enjoying my last cigarette , I did a deep Self-hypnosis, Open Eyed Modulation (a term I coined after months of research, to best define my proprietary induction techniques). Once I reached a certain dimension of depth, I strongly mentally appealed for permanent smoke cessation without subsequent weight gain from my Divine Self, my Powerful Subconscious Mind...I invested all the Faith, Belief, Trust, Confidence and advance Gratitude that I could muster...focused on visualizing, feeling, enjoying the fresh, clean, agreeable smell of smoke-Free clothes...not craving a cigarette ever
again...being physically fit... and other most positive imageries which I get into in great detail during my "Smoke Cessation Without Weight Gain or Trading Off for Another Addiction" Seminars...

After I finished the morning session, the Company secretary (who had called several local drug and other stores, Doctors' offices, etc.) brought me the location of a scale I'd be allowed to use. And so, yours truly and "the gang" proceded to that location. I told the Pharmacist they were my body guards :o)--- I must have looked like the proverbial pied piper followed by all the little (b)rats! LOL

After lunch, having thrown away the rest of my box of cancer sticks, the new experience and the suddenness of the unexpected lifestyle change which I had just implemented began to gradually sink in.

This being an unprecedented, hard to believe "First" (for me and definitely for the skeptical others) I was mildly curious about whether or not I had indeed permanently kicked my habit, and mentally monitored my moment-to-moment self-talk and inner stability as I continued training my wards. I was sure that at least a few of them were equally watching for signs of discomfort, irritability, anxiety, automatically reaching out for another cigarette, and the like. None of the above occurred!

By the start of the following week's class, I still had not smoked nor thought nor dreamt of "needing or craving a smoke". The latter would have definitely been proof of longing for, missing and desiring my cigarettes. This was significant and amazed anyone with whom I shared "the latest"... pleased and made me feel proud to boot.

At lunchtime, as planned earlier, we all caravaned to the Drug store with the scale. The "OH!"s and the "WOW!"s of my students were the rewarding cherry on top of this exciting cake, as the scale revealed that, since last week, I now weighed exactly SIX and A HALF POUNDS LESS!---Without ANY form of restrictive diet or change in my eating habits!

THIS is but ONE example of the virtually limitless POWERS and CAPABILITIES of "The God Within" each and every one of us owns and operates: that awesome Subconscious brain!

Since then, I was privileged to return to this Magic Arena and effectuate amazing cures, including cancers (two of which on myself!), bleeding ulcers, and more.

I used one of my well-researched and tested methods of Autogenic (self-produced and controlled) Mind Mastery. Never any drugs or synthetics. Sadly enough, many scientific Experts issue statements and other die-hard claims that negate what "we" practice (and I teach) as being a bunch of hogwash and impotent baloney.

Conversely, the "Medical" statement made in yesterday's transcript (about smoking and the "fact" that quitting will invariably cause you to gain weight) apparently belongs more to generation to generation folkloric naive, superstitious, ignorant, uninformed fanatical beliefs.

Does my own "living proof" that smokers are NOT doomed to get fat by quitting belong in the annals of "Believe It Or Not" together with other recorded weird, unexplainable, controversial issues of major importance or interest?---entities that are diametrically opposed to what the dictates of the "Experts' who earn their keep by touting their "Absolute Truths"?

Fortunately, after several decades of frustrating and fruitless attempts to gain the recognition, the respect (due to fellow professionals who have achieved remarkable, verifiable positive results), the cooperation and the approval of the Medical profession--- in 2008, not one but THREE Physicians have shown to believe in the fact that our ethical practice and input can and does succesfully synergize with theirs!---one of whom recently confirmed this in a written statement on his letterhead, acknowledging the impressive therapeutic effects which my self-Hypnosis produced in the case of my colon cancer last year !!

I am scheduled to meet with the other two Physicians right after New Year. One of them actually addresses large live audiences and declares his own support of the alternative medical benefits of professional hypnosis.

I visualize a NEW year during which bridges can be built between our two Healing Arts: one, verifiable in Laboratories and under microscopes and ours which more mysteriously taps into the accumulated reservoirs of ageless pragmatic Knowledge and Wisdom which some call "The Ether".

In these times of great turmoil, economic and many other stressful dark clouds hovering menacingly over all of our heads---I look forward to a new dawn of close collaboration between the Medical Profession and Hypnotherapy, to benefit immensely the Health, Well-being and Save Lives of Millions of individuals around the Globe!

This fervent Wish and Goal transcends many other "New Year's Resolutions" which are important in their own right, nevertheless pale when compared to the far reaching impacts of my Reconstructive Vision!

Wishing all of you a HAPPY, HEALTHY,DAFE, PROSPEROUS and FULFILLED 2009!

Love and Peace from your Friend,

Jacques

Why people Hold On to excess weight/ fat!

Weight Gain

If you start taking in more calories than usual or cut back on exercise, you wouldn’t be surprised if the numbers on the scale crept higher. But what if you’re doing everything the same as you always do and your weight still goes up? It’s time to delve a little deeper into what might else be going on.

Lack of Sleep

There are two issues at work with sleep and weight gain. The first is intuitive: If you’re up late, the odds are greater that you’re doing some late-night snacking, which will increase your calorie intake. The other reason involves what’s going on biochemically when you’re sleep deprived. Hormones that affect appetite take over, making you hungrier the next morning. These hormones also make you feel not as full after eating.

Stress

When life’s demands get too intense, our bodies go into survival mode: Cortisol, the "stress hormone," is secreted, which causes an increase in appetite. And then of course, we may reach for high-calorie comfort foods in times of stress as well. This combination is a perfect breeding ground for weight gain.


Antidepressants

An unfortunate side effect from some antidepressants is weight gain, which may occur in up to 25% of people taking them long-term. Talk to your doctor about switching to another drug if you think your antidepressant is causing weight gain. But realize that some people experience weight gain after beginning drug treatment simply because they’re feeling better, which leads to a better appetite.

Corticosteroids

Anti-inflammatory steroid medications like prednisone are notorious for causing weight gain. Fluid retention and increased appetite are the main reasons. Although weight gain is common, the severity of this side effect depends on the strength of the dose and length of time on the drug. Some people may also see a redistribution of fat while taking the drug -- to places like the face, back of the neck, or the abdomen.

Other Drugs That May Cause Weight Gain

Several other prescription drugs have been associated with weight gain. The list includes antipsychotic drugs (used to treat mood disorders like schizophrenia and bipolar disorders), along with medications to treat migraines, seizures, high blood pressure, and diabetes. Work with your doctor to find a medication that treats your symptoms without disrupting side effects.

“The Pill” Does NOT Cause Weight Gain

Contrary to popular belief, combination birth control pills (estrogen and progestin) do not cause weight gain. In fact, some women on the pill lose weight, primarily from nausea. If you’re still concerned about possible weight gain, talk to your health care provider.

Hypothyroidism

If your thyroid (the butterfly-shaped gland in the front of your neck) is not making enough thyroid hormone, you’re probably feeling tired, weak, cold, and gaining weight. Without enough thyroid hormone, the metabolism slows, making weight gain more likely. Even a thyroid functioning at the lower end of the normal range might cause weight gain. Treating hypothyroidism with medication may reverse some of the weight gain.

Menopause

Don’t blame menopause and the loss of estrogen for your midlife weight gain. These all may occur around the same time, during your 40s or 50s, but changing hormone levels probably aren’t the cause. Aging slows the metabolism, so you burn fewer calories, and any changes in lifestyle (e.g. exercising less) play a role. But where you gain weight may be related to menopause, with fat accumulating around your waist, not around your hips and thighs.

Cushing’s Syndrome

Weight gain is a common symptom of Cushing syndrome, a condition in which you're exposed to too much of the hormone cortisol, which in turn causes the weight gain and other abnormalities. Cushing’s syndrome can occur if you take a corticosteroid for a condition such as asthma, arthritis, or lupus. It can also occur when your adrenal glands produce too much of the hormone. Weight gain may be most prominent around the face, neck or upper back

Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS)

PCOS is a common hormonal problem in women of childbearing age. Most women with PCOS grow many small cysts on their ovaries. The condition leads to hormone imbalances that affect a woman’s menstrual cycle and can lead to excessive body, facial hair and acne. Women with this condition are resistant to insulin, which may cause weight gain. The weight tends to collect around the abdomen, putting women at greater risk for heart disease.

Smoking Cessation

On average, people who quit smoking gain about 4 to 10 pounds. Why? First, nicotine curbs your appetite, so once you quit, you may feel increased hunger pangs, which leads to overeating. Nicotine also increases your metabolism, and some people don’t decrease their calorie intake to compensate for the slowdown. Lastly, nicotine is notorious for dulling the taste buds, so you may find food tastes better once you kick the habit, which can lead to overindulgence. (SEE (*) below)

Rule 1: If You Do Gain Weight …

Don’t stop taking any medications without first consulting your doctor. Recognize the importance of the drug you’re taking. It may be critical to your health.

Rule 2: If You Do Gain Weight …

Don’t compare yourself to other people taking the same drug. Not all people have the same side effects on the same drug. Even if one drug caused someone else to lose weight, the same might not be true for you. Consult your doctor.

Rule 3: If You Do Gain Weight …

Don’t freak out if the weight gain is just from water retention, which is not permanent weight or fat. Once you’ve finished taking the drug or gotten the medical condition under control, the puffiness from fluid retention may subside. Stick to a lower sodium diet in the meantime.

Rule 4: If You Do Gain Weight …

Check with your doctor about another drug you can take. In most cases, your doctor can switch you to another medication that might not have the same side effects.

Rule 5: If You Do Gain Weight …

Learn if the weight gain is from a decrease in metabolism -- from either a medical condition or medication. And if so, take the time to participate in metabolism-raising activities. Get moving!

Coutesy: WebMD

(*) In my next post, I will share with you a true story of how I quit smoking (three packs a day) "cold turkey"---and relate some amazing inside facts to you as well. 'till then, Best wishes to you!

Your Friend,

Jacques

10 Ways to Indulge This Holiday, Guilt-Free

by Jana (selected from Sprig.com Dec 24, 2008 11:00 am)

Don’t dread putting on a few extras pounds this holiday season and don’t deprive yourself of your favorite traditional treats. Sound like a complete contradiction? The holidays are a time to celebrate, indulge and enjoy—smartly and soundly.

The key to a healthful holiday is portion size. We’ve laid out a few of our favorite, environmentally friendly indulgences to help lighten the post-holiday guilt trip, while helping you enjoy the season to the fullest.

Calling All Chocoholics

For all you chocolate fiends out there, go ahead and live a little. Reach for a few squares of divine dark chocolate and get a boost of disease-fighting antioxidants. Research shows that dark chocolate (look for a cocoa content 70% or higher) may help lower blood pressure and benefit heart health. Throw in a few almonds or pecans and get an additional bonus of healthy, unsaturated fats. At 75 calories for four squares of dark chocolate and 150 calories for two truffles, you can treat yourself without feeling guilty.

There are a number of eco-conscious brands out there doing their job to green the world of chocolate. Try Endangered Species, whose organic chocolate bars aid animal-conservation efforts and come with intriguing ingredients like cacao nibs, pecans and antioxidant-rich goji berries. The company also supports economic development programs in Nigeria.

Alternatively, break off a square or two of an Equal Exchange chocolate bar in flavors like Organic Orange Dark or Organic Panama Extra Dark. Equal Exchange is committed to fair trade and gets its cocoa from worker cooperatives in Peru, the Dominican Republic and Panama. In a do-gooding mood? You can also try John and Kira’s chocolates, in exotic flavors like coffee whiskey and bergamot, which support urban school-garden programs in Philadelphia and Chicago.

Bottoms Up

The number of cocktail parties on your weekly social calendar can easily rack up during the holiday season, as can extra calories from alcohol and sugar-heavy drinks. Make a simple swap and save big on calories. One innocent cup of eggnog actually packs in 343 calories and 19 grams of fat! For a lighter switch, reach for some bubbly, instead. At 98 calories per glass, champagne is the perfect beverage to ring in the season. Try a pomegranate-champagne cocktail for a fun twist and a slight boost of antioxidants.

Red wine is also a heart-healthy pick at about 120 calories per glass. Studies show a glass per day may lower cholesterol levels and the risk of heart disease. Watch out for fruity, sweet drinks and punches that can be laden with empty calories.

You can even do a little “greening” while tipping back your glass by choosing wines and champagnes from local and/or organic vineyards

A Hot Cuppa

If you typically run to the nearest cafe for an afternoon recharge after a long day of holiday shopping, you may want to rethink what you’re ordering. Certain drinks can easily break the bank, calorically speaking. A medium hot chocolate with whole milk typically tops 400 calories and 20 grams of fat, for example, while your favorite peppermint mocha latte can weigh in at 360 calories and 12 grams of fat.

Skim things down by downsizing your order to a small or tall, opting for non-fat or 2% milk and skipping the whipped cream. A skim cappuccino is just 60 calories, an apple cider is 115 calories and a small skim hot chocolate saves you over 200 calories and 18 grams of fat. If you’re dying to add a flavored syrup, ask for one or two small pumps to curb excess sugar and calories.

To green your coffee break, opt for fair trade and organic blends. You can also go a step further and bring your own reusable coffee cup so you’re not contributing waste to our landfills.

Fresh From the Oven

Relish in your favorite holiday apple pie, sugar cookie, gingerbread man or pumpkin spice muffin this season. Make your indulgences count by choosing wisely and staying mindful of portion sizes. Good choices are a small piece (about 1/8 or 1/10) of pie or cake, half a gigantic muffin (or just the muffin top, which everyone knows is the best part) and two to three small cookies.

Skip the boxed, frozen stuff, since they can be loaded with preservatives and additives. You can easily make things a little healthier this year by baking from scratch with organic or local ingredients. No time to slave over a hot oven? Support your community by picking up a dessert or baked goods at your local bakery.



Sprig.com’s mission is to inform, inspire and motivate the mainstream smart, socially engaged person into becoming a little more green without sacrificing quality, convenience, style or budget. We point out what’s good about green living–how it benefits your health, looks, finances and of course the planet.

Hope you and yours are indeed enjoying a MERRY CHRISTMAS-JOYEUX NOEL-MELI KALIKIMAKA!
Love,

Jacques

Good Tips For The Yearly Office Party

Practical do's and don'ts to make a great impression

Office parties happen every year and while you may think it’s a good excuse to cut back and have fun with coworkers, what you may not realize is that your behavior can make or break your reputation and your career. Here are some basic do’s and don’ts to keep in mind at your next office party.

Do – Remember you are at work! It doesn’t matter if the party is taking place in the board room or in a restaurant across town, the fact remains that the boss is there, your coworkers are there, and this is a company event. Your behavior is as important at the party as it is at your office.

Do – Attend the party! Sure, it may not be your idea of having a good time, but attending your office party shows interest in the company and is good for your reputation.

Do – Control your alcohol intake! The company may be providing free alcohol, but this is not the time to be drinking to excess, dancing on the tables, and slurring your words.

Do – Dress appropriately. Low-cut party dresses are simply not acceptable. Definitely dress up, but make sure you are wearing something you would find acceptable at the office during the day. Dress conservatively and avoid low-cut necklines and "club-wear".


Don’t – Flirt with the boss or co-workers. And if you’re asked to dance, make sure you keep your hands to yourself and keep the dirty-dancing moves for another time.

Don’t – Complain or gossip about work and co-workers. It’s a party, not a complaining session.

Don’t – Assume spouses or boyfriends/girlfriends are invited. Always ask to make sure that guests are invited. If you are allowed to bring a guest, remember that you are responsible for their behavior. It's always a good idea to remind your guest about what is and isn't acceptable behavior with your co-workers.

Don’t – Sit in the corner and talk to one or two people. Get up and mingle. This is your chance to talk to the boss and have a pleasant conversation, but it’s not the right time to pitch a new idea or ask for a raise. Keep your conversation light and friendly.


Do – Thank whomever it is that planned the party and make sure you send a thank-you note the next day.

By behaving professionally and still being fun, you will make a good impression on your coworkers and your boss, have a good time, and not regret anything in the morning.


11 Dec, 2008 |Kate Leighton- Courtesy: MindBodySanctuary
© 2008 MindBodySanctuary.com.

How to Flatten that Belly Without formal diet or exercise.

Isometrics used to be WWII's most effective "exercise" invented and taught by a British Royal Air Force (R.A.F.) Officer whose name escapes me (how soon they forget! LOL).

It was so effectual, in effect (pardon the pun), that it soon spread to many military units, as it empowered the Allied troups to successfully "exercise" in confined environments.

All that is required is to (as repetitiously as you comfortably can or care to---Except during and for about an hour or so after meals) do the following simple isometric big gut reducer.

While standing, walking, sitting, reclining...Take a good, slow, deep breath and Hold it while you SUCK IN your stomack and HOLD IT IN for a count of "Thousand One, Thousand Two...Thousand Five".

Slowly release the stale air through your mouth, blowing it out completely. This will also serve to RELAX you, reduce tension, anxiety, eliminate toxins and lower your blood pressure. (This extra side benefit should come as good news to those of you who are overweight and whose B.P. is probably on the High side).

If it is not convenient for you to do the above breathing portion of today's health tip, then just SUCK IN that stomach so you can feel it flattening, spreading out and gradually squeezing out the excess fat... and hold for 5-6 seconds each time.

That's about all there is to it my good friends!

All I ask is that you keep sucking in your stomack daily...but do not sabotage yourself by gorging yourself during the Holidays and beyond!

ENJOY them...eat and drink until you are physically satiated...but never beyond (such as yielding to the tempting Signals of your Emotional/ Neurotic False hunger pangs)...and form a great new habit of learning to faithfully "listen" to your Inner Voice that Is Always Accurate! (A superb "New Year's Resolution, no?)...

Does this mean that I just gave you some advice? :o)

HAPPY, PEACEFUL, SAFE HOLIDAYS, my suck-it-in Friends!

Jacques

Giving Advice

When to offer it and when to hold back

There are times in everyone's life when the desire to offer advice comes on strong. You may see a family member or friend struggling with a problem or hear the personal complaints of a co-worker and think that some words of wisdom would benefit them. But when is it best to offer advice and when is it good to stay silent?

Unsolicited Advice

If someone hasn't asked for advice but you feel compelled to give it anyway, beware of the risks. Unwanted advice can possibly cause resentment, so weigh your options carefully beforehand. If you feel the advice would truly be unwanted or wouldn't be heeded then it's best to stay silent. The exception would be if someone close to you is about to make a terrible mistake; in that case you should speak up, but do so with diplomacy.

Know Your Limits

If someone asks for advice but you don't feel qualified to give it, don't worry about admitting your limitations. Then perhaps you can steer them toward a more qualified person.

Trust your Instincts

If you feel deep down inside that you need to keep quiet then you're probably right. The same goes with the feeling to speak up. Learn to trust those feelings.


Listen Carefully


To offer good advice you need to have knowledge of the situation. Listen carefully and don't be too quick to jump in with words of wisdom. Know that sometimes all a person wants is for someone to listen and be there for them. To brush up on your listening and communication skills you may want to read Are You Really Listening? or The Art of Talking So That People Will Listen.

26 Nov, 2008 |Beth Farrell (courtesy: MindBody Newsletter)
© 2008 MindBodySanctuary.com.

------

JACQUES' Two Cents:

What with over thirty-five years in practice +++ as a clinical psychotherapist/ hynotherapist, I was frequently approached by "freebie brain pickers". Then again, I selectively offered "free advice" and gave it wholeheartedly to individuals who apparently needed help but could not afford my fees.

In both cases, I larned that anything a Therapist gives away for free must seem of NO value to the beneficiary, since NO sacrifice, effort or money was required on their part. Thus: the valuable and effective advice I shared was rarely if ever followed and little or NO gains were made by the recipients.

To these disappointing results, add resentment in cases where I would give advice that was unsolicited and "come to the rescue" voluntarily. I might as well have thrown and flushed it down the toilet.

It is fervently hoped that the sad truth I just shared will not be mistaken for my butting in uninvited with these remarks---and that the Professionals amongst you may save a lot of time and energy when placed in my former position. :o)

HAPPY HANNUKAH!

Jacques

Simple Formal Dinner Rules of Etiquette

Fancy table manners you can easily remember.

An invitation to a formal dinner party can be intimidating. With all the rules and regulations, making a good impression can seem difficult. Good manners are important at all times, but a formal setting calls for special considerations when it comes to etiquette. Here are some easy tips to help you look and act as impressive as the other “fancy” guests.

Arriving

Always arrive on time, and take the time to remove your coat before heading to your table.

A gentleman will always help a lady remove her coat and will hand her coat to the coat-check person, before he removes his own.

Sitting

Never sit down before your host or before being informed that it is okay to do so.

Ladies, sit to the left of the gentleman.

Gentlemen, wait for the lady to sit down before you sit down.

At the Table

An easy rule to remember is that all cutleries are placed on the table to be used in the order you eat your meal.

The outside fork is for your first course. If the first course is soup, you will use the outside spoon.

Place the used cutlery on the right side of your plate. If you had soup, place your spoon on the plate that the soup bowl is sitting on.

Never place a used napkin on the table, unless you are leaving. At that point fold your napkin nicely and place it on the table, to the left of your setting, with the fold away from you.

Do not cut your bread. Tear it pieces with your fingers and apply butter to the piece you are about to eat, not to the entire slice.

When eating soup, scoop away from your body and sip your soup from the spoon. The spoon should not be put into your mouth whole.

Do not tuck your napkin into your collar.

Hold red wine glasses by the bowl, and white wine glasses by the stem.

Never cut your entire steak or chicken into pieces. Cut off pieces bite by bite.

Never lick your fingers or hand if sauce gets on them. Wipe them on a napkin.

And there you have it! Are you still in doubt? Here's a hint - watch what everyone else is doing and follow suit.



15 Dec, 2008 |Kate Leighton (Courtesy: MindBody Newsletter)
© 2008 MindBodySanctuary.com.

READ THIS BEFORE you buy and gift Holiday edibles

We all have gotten them at one time or another: gifts of food that were disappointing or misguided, even comical. Sometimes it isn't the gift itself that doesn't work so much as the match between the gift and the recipient.

For example, I was the goofball who, with all the best of intentions, gave a Starbucks gift card to a music teacher at my daughter's school. It didn't occur to me that he might be a Mormon (see No. 7 in the list below).

Here's another example: I was once given dark chocolate as a gift, when anyone who knows me well knows that I prefer milk chocolate. (The giver in this instance happened to be my mother.)

So, with some personal experience and some tongue-in-cheek reflections on gifts from Christmases past, here is my list of 13 food gifts NOT to give:

Don't give sugar-free candies or chocolates to someone with IBS (irritable bowel syndrome) or other intestinal issues. The sugar replacement often used in these products is maltitol, which is only partially digested and absorbed. The part that isn't digested tends to ferment in the intestinal tract and attract water. To someone with diarrhea-predominant IBS, having a few pieces of these sugar-free goodies can cause some "intestinal issues". (As someone who has IBS, I can speak from sad experience.) We'll leave it at that.

Pay attention that you don't give tea with special properties to someone whom it might offend. The Republic of Tea, for example, makes "Get Lost" tea, described as "herb tea for weight control"; "Get it Going" tea (for regularity); and "Get Gorgeous" tea (for clear skin).

Be sure you don't give alcohol to someone who doesn't (or shouldn't) drink. Even if someone has consumed alcohol in the past, they may now be avoiding it for a number of possible reasons.

Don't give those tins of stale popcorn to pretty much anyone. If it isn't fresh, it isn't worth the calories.

Don't give fruitcake as a food gift, because all the fruitcake jokes known to man are bound to ensue moments after it is unwrapped.

Don't give a gift assortment of dark chocolates to someone who is passionate about milk chocolate (or vice versa). The same goes for giving cream-filled chocolates to someone who is wild about nuts and chews.

Don't give alcohol or anything with caffeine to a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. These items are not in line with their beliefs.

If you don't know the gift recipient all that well, avoid holiday processed meat gift packs (from gourmet catalogue companies) or other foods containing meat, in case your giftee is a vegetarian.

Don't give food gifts that include chocolate, peppermint or spearmint, garlic and onions, coffee, caffeinated tea, citrus, tomato products, or chili peppers, to someone who suffers from acid reflux.

Don't give any food containing pork or pork products, or that combines dairy with meat products, to someone who keeps kosher or observes Muslim dietary laws.

Don't give peanut brittle, caramel apples, or candy canes to people with braces. According to H. Dixon Taylor, DDS, an orthodontist in Concord, Calif., these are the three worst food gifts for someone with orthodontics. (And about 20% of Taylor's clients happen to be grown-ups.)

To that friend of yours who is working hard to lose extra pounds, don't give a gift card to The Cheesecake Factory.

Don't give chocolate-covered insects to people who might be "bugged" by it. I'm serious -- this actually happened to an acquaintance's mom, and she was definitely not amused!

These are just "a word to the wise" Before you make a fayx pas! LOL

Wishing you a great weekend!

Jacques

Are the pounds Not coming Off even if you "eat right" and exercise?

Hi all!

A frequent question asked by many dieters is: "I eat right and exercise a bunch, but I'm still not losing weight... what's the problem??

Let me put it this way: Who says the reason why you can't shed pounds has to do with your diet and exercise? There are other things too.

Your metabolism may be slow. Stress absolutely kills weight reduction. The same diet that helped you drop 20 pounds last year may actually have you gain 10 pounds this year... IF you had a bunch of stress this last time using the diet. Your hormones may be all over the place and not balanced.

Stress will also contribute to neurotic "emotional hunger pangs" that make us EAT when our body really does NOT need nor ask for these extra calories!

If you're not having 2 or more bowel movements a day, your digestive process may be out of whack and slowing down everything for you. For most people, simply adding more fiber to the diet will help this. Black beans will help here. Apples too.

Lack of sleep also causes an increase in cortisol, which puts the brakes on weight loss and causes weight gain.

So, Relax and reduce your negative stress contributing factors. Your weight will soon follow. Ciao,

Your Friend,

Jacques

The Holiday Blues: why do some get them?---How to Beat Them

Don’t let the pressure of the season steal your joy
By Natasha Persaud
Winter 2008

When you think of the holidays, is your first response “Bah, humbug”? You’re not the only one. With all the hustle and bustle, the lack of sleep, the relatives, the fatty and sugary foods, you may be feeling drained, physically and emotionally. “It’s not uncommon for some people to become mildly depressed during this time of year,” says Cheryl Person, M.D., assistant professor of psychiatry at the University of Maryland School of Medicine in Baltimore. Fortunately, there are some simple steps you can take to feel better. Remember, the holiday blues will pass. The best thing you can do is treat yourself gently, and get help when you need it. Here, Dr. Person explains how you can beat the blues:


1. Why do some people get the holiday blues?

Many factors contribute to the blues, says Dr. Person. “Around the holidays, you may feel overstretched financially; your daily routine may become disrupted due to parties and shopping; you may be eating unhealthily; you may feel increasing stress dealing with family members; or you may be feeling lonely. Financial, social and physical strain can all lead to holiday depression.”

Many of the problems center around the pressure to create the perfect holiday. People romanticize what is going on in everyone else’s life and try to live up to that ideal. “Holidays are not as magical as some people believe,” Dr. Person says. “Your family won’t suddenly be on their best behavior, things won’t go exactly as you had planned, so it’s important to adjust your expectations accordingly. Just as no one has the perfect life, no one has the perfect holiday.”

2. What are the signs of the holiday blues?

To determine whether you’re suffering from the blues, ask yourself these questions:

Am I snapping or arguing with people I don’t normally argue with?
Do I have trouble sleeping?
Do I feel fatigued, or do I have a lack of energy?
Do I feel lonely or isolated?
Am I crying more often?
Am I eating too much or too little?
Am I experiencing headaches or digestive complaints?
Have I lost interest in doing things I normally enjoy?

You may have noticed that these symptoms are similar to those of clinical depression. “The difference is the holiday blues are short-lived," says Dr. Person. "You get them right before the holidays, in anticipation of the stress that’s coming; or you feel burdened during the holidays because of all the demands; or you become depressed in January when the holiday bills start arriving in the mail. But these blues should go away once the holidays are past.”

3. What are the warning signs that someone I love has the holiday blues?

If your loved one seems withdrawn, is tossing and turning at night or unable to fall asleep, is constantly worried or appears irritable around the holidays, he or she may have the blues. Express your concern and offer help. Suggest activities that you both can enjoy together, such as working out at the gym, and brainstorm possible solutions to the problem.


4. How can I beat the holiday blues?

“You’ll feel much better if you maintain healthy eating and exercise habits throughout the holidays," notes Dr. Person. "It also helps to think about your own needs and to create personal boundaries.”

Here are some helpful guidelines:


Stick to a budget: Instead of spending to excess, determine how much you want to spend on gifts, and don’t go over the limit. Tell family and friends, “With the economy so uncertain, I’m trying not to overdo it this year.” It’s a win-win situation, since it also helps them when it comes to choosing your gift.

Focus on what you have, not what you don’t. Ignore the commercials where someone surprises his partner with a new luxury car or a sparkling diamond ring. Those commercials only leave you wondering, What about me? Remind yourself that it’s not stuff that makes the holidays special.

Don’t dwell on the past. Memories of happier times—or not-so-happy times—can disrupt your life now. If these holidays are nothing like the joyous times you enjoyed as a child, don’t let it sadden you. If you had a big fight with your parents last year, don’t automatically think that you’ll fight again this year. Instead, allow yourself to enjoy the present moment.

Eat just enough: Overeating can make you feel ill and contribute to weight gain, so don’t feel obligated to consume everything your host puts in front of you. To politely decline extra helpings, say, “Everything was delicious, but I couldn’t eat another bite.”

Keep to your routine: When you’re shopping, cooking and going to parties, you’re less likely to spend time on self-care, exercise and rest—but those healthy habits help protect you against negative emotions. Get good rest, and you’ll be less bothered by family squabbles and upsets.

Continue to do things you enjoy: When you’re feeling overscheduled, it’s tempting to postpone bowling night or your weekly manicure, but that could be just the break you need.

Say “no”—and skip the guilt: You don’t have to accept every invitation, if it means you’ll be losing sleep or precious downtime. “Some of us need private time to recuperate and regain our energy,” notes Dr. Person. Feel free to leave the party a bit early or to politely decline an invitation.

Spend time with others, if that helps. Being with others can help you feel less lonely and gives you a sense of community and closeness. But remember, everyone has their own comfort level in each social situation; as Dr. Person notes, "For some people, being in a crowded room can actually highlight their isolation. Do what seems right.”

Share your feelings. It may help to talk about them with someone who cares. Rather than repeating your problems, however, state them just once and use the rest of the time to brainstorm practical solutions.

Set grievances aside. The holidays are not the best time to deal with troubling relationship issues. Choose to talk about those issues sometime in the future, when you have the opportunity to deal with them effectively. In the meantime, if your sister brings out the worst of your teen self, try to accept her as she is, even if her behavior doesn’t live up to your expectations. Also, if you understand that you and she won’t “magically” get along just because it’s a holiday, you’ll likely have an easier time handling your feelings while you are together.

Focus on the true meaning of the season. Forget about making your home spotless for company, and instead focus on celebrating the true spirit of the season: Attend religious services, spend time with people you care about and who care about you, count your blessings and do something for someone else.

5. The holidays bring back memories of loved ones who have passed away. How can I cope with the sadness?

It’s normal to feel sad when you’ve lost someone close to you, and you may feel the pain more acutely during the holidays. If so, give yourself permission to grieve, and deal with the loss in your own way. If you feel an urge to cry, let the tears flow. If you want to remember your loved in a special way, go ahead: Light a candle, put together a scrapbook, decorate the grave stone with flowers or a wreath, or do whatever else you find comforting. How a person grieves is specific to that individual.

If your feelings of sadness send you back into deep grief and it continues past the holidays, you may have developed complicated grief. It may be helpful to see a mental health professional, who can help guide you through the grieving process.


6. I’m having a hard time getting over the blues. What are some options when it comes to therapy?

If your feelings of sadness or depression don’t pass with the season, consider seeing your primary care physician who can rule out any physical problems. If needed, the doctor can refer you to a therapist or a psychiatrist, who can help you to cope with the stress.

If you feel sad every moment of the day, every day, for weeks, you may have developed clinical depression. Hormonal changes and recent illnesses such as heart attacks or cancer can contribute to depression—at any time of the year, including holidays.

Research shows that people with depression who receive therapy recover more quickly and experience less devastating effects. There are many forms of therapy that can benefit you. Here are three of the more common types:

Supportive therapy: Together with your therapist, you address your concerns and strategize how to deal with them.

Psychodynamic therapy: You and your therapist identify sources of conflict within your family or other relationships, and strive to understand how the past is affecting the present in hopes of changing it.

Cognitive behavioral therapy: You learn how to break negative thought patterns that are causing you to feel sad and to think more positive thoughts.

Courtesy: Health & Wellness Remedy Life

The Amazing Healing Powers of Vinegar

A Complete Guide to Nature’s Magic Liquid!

You have always known that vinegar tasted great on your French fries and made your glassware sparkle, but I bet you didn’t know the intense healing powers of this magic liquid.

Vinegar has been a trusted home remedy that your mother, grandmother, and their grandmothers have known. It literally can be used from head to toe. Scalp problems such as dandruff, athlete’s foot, yeast infections, even headaches are no match for this remedy. It can also be used as a cosmetic to help protect and beautify your skin!

In The Healing Power of Vinegar, author Cal Orey reveals the secret healing powers of red wine vinegar, apple cider vinegar, and other natural vinegars.

New evidence shows that both apple cider and red wine vinegars, which are made from whole apples and red grapes may help you to:

Fight Fat
Enhance your immune system
Lower blood pressure
Lower risk of heart disease
Prevent cancer
Slow the aging process
and more

Apple Cider Vinegar — the Anti-Cancer

No single food or supplement can prevent cancer, amazingly however, vinegar is considered a “weapon” against cancer according to scientists at the A.P. John Institute for Cancer Research.

This also may come as a surprise: Apple cider vinegar may be just the remedy to help you stave off type 2 diabetes, which usually develops after age 40. Most people who have type 2 diabetes, much like people with high cholesterol, can control the disease through diet and lifestyle change. And that is where apple cider vinegar comes in.

Researchers at Arizona State University found that including apple cider vinegar in the diet may help to slow the rise of blood sugar after a high-carbohydrate meal.

And there is so much more you’ll learn in The Healing Power of Vinegar, incuding dozens of home cures!

From Ancient Folk Medicine to Modern Miracle — Discover the Amazing Powers of Vinegar.

People from all walks of life — as well as some contemporary medical experts and vinegar pioneers — believe that apple cider vinegar aids digestion, helps maintain weight, and keeps blood pressure down. It’s also known to relieve congestion and maintain healthy skin.

Now you can discover for yourself the amazing healing powers of apple cider vinegar. Find out how vinegar’s curative powers can also help prevent age related diseases like cancer, heart disease, and bone loss.

In The Healing Power of Vinegar you’ll learn how red wine vinegar contains the same important antioxidants as red wine — without the alcohol. Plus, how to put dozens of more home remedies to work for treating allergies, arthritis, toothaches, sunburn, swimmer’s ear, sore throat, and other pesky ailments.

You’ll also find a wealth of natural beauty treatments and environment-friendly household hints — from making kitchen countertops sparkle to cleaning up kids and pets!

The Healing Power of Vinegar is a must-have, invaluable resource that will show you how to make the most of this proven, powerful healer!

Courtesy: NewsMAx

A Shot in the Dark

The benefits of the flu vaccine are hotly debated

It’s time to ask the million-dollar question of every winter: should you get a flu shot?

This question has been hotly debated for years, with advocates supporting the vaccine and lamenting there aren’t enough to go around, while opponents cite the chemicals used and citing incidents of the flu in people after they were given the shot.

According to the Center for Disease Control, the flu is responsible for 200,000 hospitalizations and 36,000 deaths a year. In the 2007-2008 flu season, 83 children were reported as dying from the flu or flu-like symptoms.

The Mayo clinic website states the flu shot is recommended for children or people who meet the following requirements:

* Are age 6 months up to 19 years


* Are pregnant


* Are 50 years old or older


* Have a chronic medical condition such as asthma, diabetes, or heart, kidney or lung disease


* Have a weakened immune system such as from medications or HIV infection


* Are residents of a nursing home or other long term care facility


* Are child care workers or health care workers or live with or care for someone at high risk of complications from the flu

During the flu shot shortage in 2004, people under the age of 65 were urged to forgo the shot for the sake of senior citizens, who were considered to need it more. However, the shot’s benefits for seniors are being questioned, and the focus is shifting to another age group considered to be at high risk for the flu: children. As a result, some are considering a requirement that children between the ages of 5-18 be vaccinated.

However, this requirement’s results my be questionable, as a study from the past two years shows flu shots are ineffective in children, and the number of visits to the doctor or the hospital have not decreased as a result of getting the shot.

Currently, the shot is optional, and it is up to the individual to determine whether or not it is necessary.

Whether or not you receive the shot, here’s to a healthy winter for everyone!




12 Dec, 2008 |Carey Purcell

Drop lbs.--- Eat sweets!

Don't let your sweet cravings sour your weight-loss efforts. Not everyone has one, but for those of us who do, our sweet tooth is nearly unstoppable in its quest for satisfaction.

Whether you're home or passing the company snack machines, that voice inside your head is calling... "Come here, sweetie."

The most logical action to take is to clear your house of everything you don't want to eat. Let's rephrase that... clear it of MOST of what you know you should cut back on. Notice we say "cut back" and not rid yourself of your sweet little treats. Some sinful indulgence is not only not bad, it's downright necessary for you to sustain a healthy lifestyle.

Besides, a little chocolate is good for your heart. Not just metaphorically... literally! "Cocoa contains flavonoids, antioxidants that are heart healthy," says nutritionist Susan Burke March.

But stick to powdered chocolate if you need a fix on a regular basis. Chocolate candy also contains saturated fat and sugar... so stick to a hot cocoa on a cold winter's night. If you're watching your weight, how about a fat-free hot chocolate... preferably one with calcium added for extra bone protection.

Moderation is the key. You've heard it a million times. Remember, there's nothing wrong with a little bit. It's the whole box of chocolates that poses a problem.

Keep only a single serving of a high-calorie sweet that you might crave around the house.

"Another sweet treat that's easy on your figure is fresh-frozen fruit," says March. "I love to freeze seedless grapes for a sweet, cool snack. Frozen fruit smoothies are sweet and taste too good to be so low in calories," she says.

Here's a quick little recipe you can enjoy:
For a really smooth smoothie, blend 1/2 cup plain, nonfat yogurt with 1 cup of strawberries, 1 cup of low fat milk, crushed ice and add sweetener to taste. A teaspoon of sugar has only 16 calories, or you can sweeten with a non-nutritive sweetener of your choice.

Even though less sugary but sweet alternatives are best, there's no reason not to have a wee indulgence once in a while. Satisfy your sweet tooth with a bite-size piece of chocolate. And don't just inhale it! Keep it cold and let it sit in your mouth. That way, it will last much longer.

Sugar-free powders and artificial sweeteners are a big help, too. Stir cheesecake mix or pudding mix into plain yogurt to make a delicious dessert. Fruity powders added to nonfat cream cheese can make a sweet but low-calorie spread.

Find creative ways to satisfy your sweet tooth -- sprinkle candied ginger over mandarin oranges, put a dollop of low fat whipped cream on top of yogurt with strawberries. Even dunk a few strawberries into a little bit of chocolate.

Include something sweet in most of your meals. Peanut butter on toast and fruit as a snack will reduce your cravings. If you have an unplanned slip -- and what slip IS planned anyway -- don't just shrug and say you'll get back on track tomorrow.

There's no time like the present. Be proactive and positive at a time when you feel like a failure. Get right back on track, that very moment. Make your next meal or snack a positive one.

The key? Always have healthy low-calorie sweets on hand, such as grapes, melon or frozen fruit bars. Consider this analogy... it's like having a fire extinguisher at your side, ready to extinguish those burning desires aching from your sweet tooth.

Courtesy: "Worst Foods" (Glee Magazine)